Baby Jack

Pregnant and Bleeding

I sadly got up and left his office. I was very disappointed I really wanted to hear the heartbeat of the baby whom I had grown to love. Two weeks later on a Wednesday I began to bleed. I called the office mid afternoon told the receptionist that I was bleeding. She took my name and number said she would talk with the doctor and call me back. I decided to lie down; thinking maybe if I just stayed off my feet the bleeding would stop. Finally around 4:30 p.m. the office called me back and told me that they scheduled me an appointment to have an ultrasound for the following day at 2 p.m.

Although I was nervous and worried I was also very excited to be able to see my baby for the first time. I did not get any sleep that night. The next day, a Thursday, I drank the required 32 ounces of water as per my doctors instructions so that the ultrasound tech would be able to properly see the baby. I had asked my cousin Gina to join me for the visit so that she too could see the baby. I was worried but I convinced myself that everything was going to be okay. The bleeding had subsided a little so surely that was a good sign, or so I thought.

Ryan and Mommy

Pregnant

I called to schedule my first doctor’s appointment. I was told that I could not be seen until I was at least six weeks pregnant. Two and a half more weeks seemed like a long time to wait. But they told me this was standard practice so I setup the first visit. The days seemed to creep slowly by.

Finally the day of my appointment was here. I arrived on time only to find that I would need to wait some more. I would soon find out that you should never schedule your OB visit on a Monday morning. This was the time they reserved for patients that had problems over the weekend to be seen by the doctor. Finally they called my name. I was taken into a cold sterile room, and in that room I was left to wait some more. Only now I found myself undressed and cold. When the doctor made his way in he said a quick hello ask a few questions, preformed a yearly exam and sent me on my way. He told me I should come back in four weeks. Four weeks are you kidding me. He was not.

On my second visit I was seen in a more timely fashion. However, the doctor I found to be not really friendly and very rushed. I am not even sure he remembered who I was or why I was there. He looked at my chart. Lifted his head and looked up at me. So your about nine weeks pregnant he said. Well let’s see if we can hear the heartbeat. He proceeded to rub very cold gel on my stomach then he gilded a Doppler over my belly. Immediately you could hear a loud whooshing sound. He continued to glide the Doppler over my stomach pausing with a bewildered look. But still not saying a word, I looked at him puzzled and asked “What is wrong” he replied nothing…You may not be as far along as we think. Come back in four weeks and we should be able to hear the heartbeat.

The Dream

My dream of having children began somewhere between childhood and my tween years. It was decided during that time that I would have two children a boy and a girl. The boy would come first that way he could protect his little sister. In my teenage years the dream included finding a husband. He would be tall dark and handsome, just a few years older than I. We would get married when I was 25 spend a two years alone together and then have our first child when I was 27 and our second child when I was 29.

When I was just 22 years old I found myself pregnant. I was in a relationship with a man I had been dating for about six months. He had no desire to have child with me. When I told him I was pregnant he decided to have nothing to do with me. Although the decision was difficult and it did not quite fit into my plan. I made the decision to have the baby and raise him or her on my own. I did not make much money and I had no idea how I was going to make it but I knew I loved this child that was growing inside of me.