"Baby Jack"

"The Dance" by Garth Brooks

My cousin Gina decided to take matters into her own hands and call and speak to the office. After speaking to the office and pleading with them to understand the emotional pain that I was in. They reluctantly agreed to juggle their schedule and get me in for the next day.

I spent the entire night locked in my bedroom listening to Garth Brooks “The Dance” on repeat. As I lay curled up in a ball on the floor and listened to the lyrics “For a moment all the world was right. How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye. And now I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end the way it all would go” I began to sob.

Miscarriage Continued

The ultrasound technician squeezed gel on to my stomach, this time it was warm. She then placed the wand on my belly and started to glide it over my stomach. As I strained my neck to see the monitor I looked but could not see anything. Finally I saw an empty circle. I was really worried by this point. I asked, what is that? She replied that is your sac. I then said in an extremely nervous voice. Where is my baby! She said nothing. I asked again where is my baby, she stated again that is your sac. You already told me that is my sac. Why are you not telling me where my baby is? She said that my doctor would review the ultrasound and call me with the results. I left the appointment bewildered but still held out hope that everything would be okay.
Hours went by as I waited by the phone for the call from my doctor’s office. Finally he called and told me I did not have a baby growing inside of me. I asked him what you mean. He said that the baby must have died a long time ago and that is why I could not see it or I was not pregnant at all my body just thought I was. He informed me that I would need a D&C. I was told that someone from his office would call me back to schedule it with me. Again I was left to wait. When they finally called back the earliest they could schedule me was for Monday afternoon. It was Thursday. I was devastated and the thought of carrying my baby inside of me for the entire weekend was too much to bear.